![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
'Scream for us!'
Dec. 17th, 2008 10:47 pmSo I've decided to abandon my intention to quit ANCYL. Regardless of how disgusted I have become from our behavior, especially after the recent events since COPE appeared on the scene. I spoke to many people and most of them advised me that I'd be more useful where I am now. While it's true that my membership in the ANC Youth League hasn't brought me any personal benefits (here I'm sounding like a true ANC guy, OMG...), I mean no self improvement but only nerve-breaking ideological clashes with various 'Comrades' over their manifestations of stupidity, ignorance and outright incompetence that surrounds our life on many sides. I've been attending the gatherings in the university more seldom in recent times, and I take the mic even more rarely with time. No, I'm not censored, not exactly. No-one wants to silence me, I'm not even ignored... just my words receive nods of approval and then everything goes like before. The reason for my passiveness is different. It's more like self-censorship. And shutting out. There were times when I was really fervent in my appearances; now I'm maybe more realistic...or more disillusioned. I don't know really.
Some said that the moment for leaving the organisation is not appropriate. Such an act would be instantly interpreted as a 'treason' and a potential step towards 'deserting' to the new breakaway party, COPE. This is absolutely not true. Those who think this simply don't know me. That party is no better than the mother party from which it split. They're a bunch of opportunists and failed corrupt political zombies. I don't give a shit about them.
There were all kinds of opinions except one: yes, quit now! No-one told me this. Not even the people who sympathize with DA. And this must show me something.
There was a time when my dad used to tell me: 'ANC ... is slowly turning into what it was fighting against at my time, when I was a 'Comrade': self-sufficient, over-fed, corrupt autocracy who think they can rest on their old laurels forever. Well they're mistaken. It took a generation to defeat white supremacy, if it'll take another one to defeat black totalitarianism, you better be ready to go for it. Because now you are taking the baton'. Well, indeed. I thought that maybe it wouldn't hurt them to hear one or two different opinions especially from inside their own party, and that's what I've been doing at ANCYL, if only at a local level in my university. Isn't this what friends, the comrades are for? To tell you the most painful truths into the face so you start to contemplate about it and do something.
But yes, it's true that I've become increasingly disgusted by the behavior of my leaders. But I'm not quitting. I've had conversations with some of my best friends, both from the university, from my work area in Alexandra and abroad, mainly Holland and UK, with some local friends from around SA and with my wife. I wanted their opinion but ultimately the decision had to be mine and only mine. Many of them were on the position that this is my life and I should do whatever is in my best interests. I have a good job that I love, I like social service and working directly with the community in the township. It's what I've always wanted to do. It gives me an enormous feeling of accomplishment when a guy or a girl calls back to me and says: 'Look, I've settled on this job and I like it, I earn some good money so thank you!' These are the people whose opinion I trust the most. And there were some who said that I shouldn't quit my involvement in politics, even if it's at such an elementary and low level (sometimes called "grass-roots" level).
What made me the strongest impression were the words that Mrs Molefi told me the other day. She's the mother of Nelli, a young girl, almost teenage, whom I assisted with applying for the university...now she's studying pharmacy. Roughly, Mrs Molefi told me something like this:
'It's not fair. You want to do it the easy way. This is so easy. Just quit, say goodbye and that's all. But what about us? Is that what we fought for? God I wish I was able to stand with the microphone in front of the meeting in that room and scream! Scream loudly! Many things! But I can't. Because I'm stupid and uneducated and they won't let me. But you aren't. You can stand there and scream for me, for us! So, scream! But now you want to become silent. No, it's not fair.'
That left me dumbfounded. I didn't suppose that people think like this. Then I didn't tell her anything. I didnt tell anyone about this conversation until now, only to Karen. She just smiled and told me: 'Mrs Molefi is no stupid woman'. And that was all.
So I'm not going to quit. I still have more work to do.
To all who cared, thanks for your opinions. You were most helpful!
Some said that the moment for leaving the organisation is not appropriate. Such an act would be instantly interpreted as a 'treason' and a potential step towards 'deserting' to the new breakaway party, COPE. This is absolutely not true. Those who think this simply don't know me. That party is no better than the mother party from which it split. They're a bunch of opportunists and failed corrupt political zombies. I don't give a shit about them.
There were all kinds of opinions except one: yes, quit now! No-one told me this. Not even the people who sympathize with DA. And this must show me something.
There was a time when my dad used to tell me: 'ANC ... is slowly turning into what it was fighting against at my time, when I was a 'Comrade': self-sufficient, over-fed, corrupt autocracy who think they can rest on their old laurels forever. Well they're mistaken. It took a generation to defeat white supremacy, if it'll take another one to defeat black totalitarianism, you better be ready to go for it. Because now you are taking the baton'. Well, indeed. I thought that maybe it wouldn't hurt them to hear one or two different opinions especially from inside their own party, and that's what I've been doing at ANCYL, if only at a local level in my university. Isn't this what friends, the comrades are for? To tell you the most painful truths into the face so you start to contemplate about it and do something.
But yes, it's true that I've become increasingly disgusted by the behavior of my leaders. But I'm not quitting. I've had conversations with some of my best friends, both from the university, from my work area in Alexandra and abroad, mainly Holland and UK, with some local friends from around SA and with my wife. I wanted their opinion but ultimately the decision had to be mine and only mine. Many of them were on the position that this is my life and I should do whatever is in my best interests. I have a good job that I love, I like social service and working directly with the community in the township. It's what I've always wanted to do. It gives me an enormous feeling of accomplishment when a guy or a girl calls back to me and says: 'Look, I've settled on this job and I like it, I earn some good money so thank you!' These are the people whose opinion I trust the most. And there were some who said that I shouldn't quit my involvement in politics, even if it's at such an elementary and low level (sometimes called "grass-roots" level).
What made me the strongest impression were the words that Mrs Molefi told me the other day. She's the mother of Nelli, a young girl, almost teenage, whom I assisted with applying for the university...now she's studying pharmacy. Roughly, Mrs Molefi told me something like this:
'It's not fair. You want to do it the easy way. This is so easy. Just quit, say goodbye and that's all. But what about us? Is that what we fought for? God I wish I was able to stand with the microphone in front of the meeting in that room and scream! Scream loudly! Many things! But I can't. Because I'm stupid and uneducated and they won't let me. But you aren't. You can stand there and scream for me, for us! So, scream! But now you want to become silent. No, it's not fair.'
That left me dumbfounded. I didn't suppose that people think like this. Then I didn't tell her anything. I didnt tell anyone about this conversation until now, only to Karen. She just smiled and told me: 'Mrs Molefi is no stupid woman'. And that was all.
So I'm not going to quit. I still have more work to do.
To all who cared, thanks for your opinions. You were most helpful!
