Right in your face!
Nov. 11th, 2008 01:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mahnmut"is that seriously what the little robot from south Africa thinks?
Ohhh yeah your views are probably colored, but your racist history."
I got this "interesting" response to a comment I made on an ordinary forum thread.
And it's all over me again. The same emotions like every time when this happens. Maybe I just boil too easily from these things.
Now... What can I say. I got tired of getting tired of ignorant and deluded people a looong time ago. They stopped annoying me. Now they only amuse me. Please, keep it going. I need my daily lol.
No. I lied. I am really boiling...
I know that no-one loves to hear a rant. But still, I've rarely kept my thoughts for myself, so I will not do it now, either. There are several persons who I'm sure will read every single word of this, and what's more, would understand it. You know who you are :-)
Apart from the fact that someone who doesn't know a shit about me, is throwing silly labels based on the tiny bit of info they've got about me from a first glimpse (ie, "he is white, he is in South Africa, therefore he MUST be a white supremacist elitist pig with a racist past, right?"), apart from that, all the rest is just fine.
Tell you what. I'm sick of explaining and explaining this to people. I've told my personal story over a thousand times, yet there will always come some deluded idiot who would hurry to judge me not by who I am and what I do, but by what I look like. If this is not racist, then what.
Should I start explaining again that my father placed his life on the table in order to help a cause that he believed in, against all odds, and that it was the cause of the oppressed BLACK, not anyone else? Should I narrate about the way he taught me to respect all human life on Earth, to put dignity and freedom above all, even my own? But not that hollow word "freedom" which a certain president likes to use so much nowadays that the value of this term has devalved so much now it's more of a media slogan. Should I describe the tests through which I had to go in order to fulfill my dream and return to the land of my ancestors, but not to encircle myself with a stone fence and put cameras around myself to protect me from imaginary threats while I'm there? But how instead I plunged deep into the shit, and here I am, working in social services in the townships of Johannesburg, amongst the BLACKS who still remain oppressed but in a different way? How many people are now having jobs, just simple jobs, but enough to have at least some hope in their lives... and this, at least partially or fully with my involvement? How much effort I have put and how many tears I have shed, how many white hairs have grown on my head from worries that I am not doing enough, that I could try just a little harder and help just one more person get a decent job and bring some dignity into his life? How many dear friends I have lost there, either to HIV, or murder, or robbery, rape, traffic incidents, indigestion, bad hygiene, street brawls, pub brawls, family abuse, cocaine, heroine, shootings, bureaucratic negligence, medical negligence, and simply seeing them fade away from grief? Most of the people I know here are BLACK, the majority of my friends are black. How can I explain that most of the people on my wedding, the happiest moment in my life, were Zulu, Xhosa, Tswana, Ndebele, Sotho and Shona? And these are ethnicities, not personal names, in case you didn' t know. I am married to a MALAY woman who is the most beautiful woman in the world and the best thing that has ever happened in my life, for gods sake. Her sister has adopted a Zimbabwean child... And I think one day I will do that, too... One of my best friends here IS black and he IS dying of AIDS, goddamit!!! And there's nothing I can do! No matter what I do, still he will die! And I can do nothing! I've lost so many friends... But do I stop trying harder? Ever? No. I don't.
If I stop, I'll die too.
And this... someone... I will not call him a drag queen because I have nothing against his (her? he must be "her" already, for which I congratulate her) inclinations and preferences... comes here and takes a sneak peek at my profile (perhaps), sees a white dude smiling happily, reads "South Africa" and suddenly decides that "Oh, this robo guy is sooo totally with a racist past!"
Do I have to count how many times I jumped and punched the one who said such a thing about me or my family right into the face?? And to try to explain why ALL of these were WHITE South Africans? That is why I cut most of my connections to the SA diaspora while I was in London. Because, I hate to say it, but indeed most of them are a bunch of deluded, self-sufficient, racist pigs at their finest. Ask any of them about South Africa, and they will start telling you what a shithole the new system has turned her into. My country. They'd spit on the new South African flag, they'd shit on it and would raise the old banner of the Boer. They are a disgrace to our Boer past. And I REFUSE to be leveled to them!!!
For they prefered to take the easy way and flee like chickens when they saw tough times coming... yes, the "chicken generation" they are called. The first who fled. Meanwhile I, who had never really lived in SA before, did everything in my powers to RETURN here, because I always knew it is here where I belong. I knew there would be chaos, it would be difficult, and my life would be... unusual, at least in the beginning. But I stayed. And I haven't stopped doing my little part. I hate to speak like this. I hate to speak about myself whatsoever! That's why you'd probably notice I comment on other things, but I never ever speak about myself like this. But this time I'll say it straight. If there is anyone whom you'd hear stand and talk at the ANCYL meetings in my University, talk with straight words about what stinks of shit in the current situation, and insists that the mess be cleaned, and proposes how, it would probably be me. And that same friend of mine too, who is dying. But this... "someone", (s)he couldn't know this, right!? How could she?
Because it is so easy to sit in your chair at home, drink your beer or milkshake or whatever, eat your chips, watch CNN, chat on Skype, and post stupid ignorant comments on LiveJournal about someone you know nothing about. How conventient. Well, thank you for your insightful conclusions. You stepped on my toe, so I'm screaming now. Are you happy? At least you're not in front of my eyes because I'd have probably punched you, and you're lucky cause I'd have punched you hard. Maybe then you'd have realised how stupid your remark was, and how prejudiced you are. And I'm not. For which I pity you. And after I punch you, I'd certainly feel a little better. For a while. I'm promptly removing the label that you've just sticked on my forehead, as I've done so many times before. And back to work.
Enjoy your blogging, Ladies.
PS. Sorry for the rant. I never do that. But I am allowed one exception, am I?
Ohhh yeah your views are probably colored, but your racist history."
I got this "interesting" response to a comment I made on an ordinary forum thread.
And it's all over me again. The same emotions like every time when this happens. Maybe I just boil too easily from these things.
Now... What can I say. I got tired of getting tired of ignorant and deluded people a looong time ago. They stopped annoying me. Now they only amuse me. Please, keep it going. I need my daily lol.
No. I lied. I am really boiling...
I know that no-one loves to hear a rant. But still, I've rarely kept my thoughts for myself, so I will not do it now, either. There are several persons who I'm sure will read every single word of this, and what's more, would understand it. You know who you are :-)
Apart from the fact that someone who doesn't know a shit about me, is throwing silly labels based on the tiny bit of info they've got about me from a first glimpse (ie, "he is white, he is in South Africa, therefore he MUST be a white supremacist elitist pig with a racist past, right?"), apart from that, all the rest is just fine.
Tell you what. I'm sick of explaining and explaining this to people. I've told my personal story over a thousand times, yet there will always come some deluded idiot who would hurry to judge me not by who I am and what I do, but by what I look like. If this is not racist, then what.
Should I start explaining again that my father placed his life on the table in order to help a cause that he believed in, against all odds, and that it was the cause of the oppressed BLACK, not anyone else? Should I narrate about the way he taught me to respect all human life on Earth, to put dignity and freedom above all, even my own? But not that hollow word "freedom" which a certain president likes to use so much nowadays that the value of this term has devalved so much now it's more of a media slogan. Should I describe the tests through which I had to go in order to fulfill my dream and return to the land of my ancestors, but not to encircle myself with a stone fence and put cameras around myself to protect me from imaginary threats while I'm there? But how instead I plunged deep into the shit, and here I am, working in social services in the townships of Johannesburg, amongst the BLACKS who still remain oppressed but in a different way? How many people are now having jobs, just simple jobs, but enough to have at least some hope in their lives... and this, at least partially or fully with my involvement? How much effort I have put and how many tears I have shed, how many white hairs have grown on my head from worries that I am not doing enough, that I could try just a little harder and help just one more person get a decent job and bring some dignity into his life? How many dear friends I have lost there, either to HIV, or murder, or robbery, rape, traffic incidents, indigestion, bad hygiene, street brawls, pub brawls, family abuse, cocaine, heroine, shootings, bureaucratic negligence, medical negligence, and simply seeing them fade away from grief? Most of the people I know here are BLACK, the majority of my friends are black. How can I explain that most of the people on my wedding, the happiest moment in my life, were Zulu, Xhosa, Tswana, Ndebele, Sotho and Shona? And these are ethnicities, not personal names, in case you didn' t know. I am married to a MALAY woman who is the most beautiful woman in the world and the best thing that has ever happened in my life, for gods sake. Her sister has adopted a Zimbabwean child... And I think one day I will do that, too... One of my best friends here IS black and he IS dying of AIDS, goddamit!!! And there's nothing I can do! No matter what I do, still he will die! And I can do nothing! I've lost so many friends... But do I stop trying harder? Ever? No. I don't.
If I stop, I'll die too.
And this... someone... I will not call him a drag queen because I have nothing against his (her? he must be "her" already, for which I congratulate her) inclinations and preferences... comes here and takes a sneak peek at my profile (perhaps), sees a white dude smiling happily, reads "South Africa" and suddenly decides that "Oh, this robo guy is sooo totally with a racist past!"
Do I have to count how many times I jumped and punched the one who said such a thing about me or my family right into the face?? And to try to explain why ALL of these were WHITE South Africans? That is why I cut most of my connections to the SA diaspora while I was in London. Because, I hate to say it, but indeed most of them are a bunch of deluded, self-sufficient, racist pigs at their finest. Ask any of them about South Africa, and they will start telling you what a shithole the new system has turned her into. My country. They'd spit on the new South African flag, they'd shit on it and would raise the old banner of the Boer. They are a disgrace to our Boer past. And I REFUSE to be leveled to them!!!
For they prefered to take the easy way and flee like chickens when they saw tough times coming... yes, the "chicken generation" they are called. The first who fled. Meanwhile I, who had never really lived in SA before, did everything in my powers to RETURN here, because I always knew it is here where I belong. I knew there would be chaos, it would be difficult, and my life would be... unusual, at least in the beginning. But I stayed. And I haven't stopped doing my little part. I hate to speak like this. I hate to speak about myself whatsoever! That's why you'd probably notice I comment on other things, but I never ever speak about myself like this. But this time I'll say it straight. If there is anyone whom you'd hear stand and talk at the ANCYL meetings in my University, talk with straight words about what stinks of shit in the current situation, and insists that the mess be cleaned, and proposes how, it would probably be me. And that same friend of mine too, who is dying. But this... "someone", (s)he couldn't know this, right!? How could she?
Because it is so easy to sit in your chair at home, drink your beer or milkshake or whatever, eat your chips, watch CNN, chat on Skype, and post stupid ignorant comments on LiveJournal about someone you know nothing about. How conventient. Well, thank you for your insightful conclusions. You stepped on my toe, so I'm screaming now. Are you happy? At least you're not in front of my eyes because I'd have probably punched you, and you're lucky cause I'd have punched you hard. Maybe then you'd have realised how stupid your remark was, and how prejudiced you are. And I'm not. For which I pity you. And after I punch you, I'd certainly feel a little better. For a while. I'm promptly removing the label that you've just sticked on my forehead, as I've done so many times before. And back to work.
Enjoy your blogging, Ladies.
PS. Sorry for the rant. I never do that. But I am allowed one exception, am I?
