LOL, the crazy pastors have no end

[mahnmut]

...But this one is more like hilarious rather than ominous as the previous one.

US preacher warns end of the world is nigh: 21 May, around 6pm, to be precise

The end of the world is nigh; 21 May, to be precise. That's the date when Harold Camping, a preacher from Oakland, California, is confidently predicting the Second Coming of the Lord. At about 6pm, he reckons 2 per cent of the world's population will be immediately "raptured" to Heaven; the rest of us will get sent straight to the Other Place.

Hey, that's nice! I mean it's good to know the exact hour so I don't miss it. I have to supply enough beer and popcorn for the show, and secure a good place with a fine view to put my stretching chair. Shall I bring some sing-song booklets as well?

Comments

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

What people like that do is nothing but a glorified scam. You could if you were not bothered by the resulting flamewar say that's typical of religion in general (which I disagree with) but this case in particular has nothing remotely defensible about it. These are people praying on others for their own gain (pun intended).

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

What people like that do is nothing but a glorified scam.

LOL no shit? :-)

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

"The LORD shall come upon you!"

Now that turned me on!

Politically incorrect Under L is Politically Incorrect:

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

I think God only has a thing for young Jewish girls..... ;P.

Re: Politically incorrect Under L is Politically Incorrect:

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Damn.

Oops, sorry...

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

It better!

[kinvore.livejournal.com]

I had a clever retort but your icon derailed my train of thought.

[ddstory.livejournal.com]

Sorry... (Fruits have such an effect on panda bears).

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

Beer would definitely be useful.

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

The Hell with beer. I want to celebrate the Apocalypse one way only: sexxing up the wife.

[abomvubuso.livejournal.com]

No problem doing both.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

W00t!

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

I think the end of the world is nigh but it has more to do with human stupidity. We have fucked ourselves pretty hard.

Unfortunately, I can't give you an exact date. Just keep plenty of beer and pretzels on standby at all times lol.

[alphistia.livejournal.com]

this kind of Christianity is so damned mean. Why would anyone worship a god that nasty?

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Because he could be hilarious (http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&biw=1366&bih=643&q=advice+god&gbv=2&aq=f&aqi=g3&aql=&oq=) as well.

[kardashev.livejournal.com]

I don't believe in God myself. But on the off-chance I'm wrong I'd have to say he's a lot nicer of deity than I would've been by any common description. If was the invisible sky god:

Lucifer-No banishment and fiefdom in Hell. I would've smashed him like a grape in front of all the other Angels. Made a real example of him.

Adam and Eve-After their transgression, I wouldn't have just increased the pain of Eve's labor and given her menstrual cramps. I would also have made Adam get a migraine headache every time he fucked her.

Cain-No banishment again. Just hardass smiting. Then I'd tell Adam and Eve, "You've got another one on the way. You're going to name him Seth. If you give a damn about him, tell him how I made Cain's head explode, lest he suffer the same fate."

Child Molestors-The first child molestor would have suffered a fate so gruesome that no child would have ever been molested again: I would've rammed my divine fist down said molestor's throat, grabbed him by the stomach, and yanked him inside out.

Humanity In General-The human race has been pulling the same shit since the beginning over and over again. I wouldn't have waited until the Roman Empire to send my only Son/My Avatar to die for their sins. Instead, sometime around Babylon, I would've sent a lean mean "HULK SMASH!!" warrior messiah instead of a healer to stomp the Holy Hell out of the sinners in Babylon. And I'd periodically send him back from time to time just to show everybody that I was still keeping an eye on things and wasn't going to tolerate war, murder, greed, etc.

I wouldn't require worship from humanity. Who needs vanity when you're Almighty? But I wouldn't tolerate a bunch of stupid bullshit from them either. Even the Old Testament God is a fairly mild deity compared to the hardass pipe-hittin' God I'd be. *chukles*

[chessdev.livejournal.com]

Is that 6pm Eastern time zone, or Pacific??

And does that account for daylight savings? I mean, this WAS predicted a long, long time ago.


I just really want to know so I'm not late...

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Well, he did say "around" 6, so we can't be entirely sure (which is the trick with these predictions really).

[anfalicious.livejournal.com]

Is the third picture of some third world village that has just received a shipment of surplus shirts as goodwill? Hang on, some of them still have their other shirts on underneath. They're not even letting them keep the shirts! They just had a bag of shirts and got some black people to put them on so they could have their "diversity" photo didn't they.

Also, this post is misleading. The world isn't ending on May 21; that's just the rapture. The world is ending some time in October. Sheesh, get your facts straight :P

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

Oh damn! You mean the end times are going to get prolonged?

Brb need moar popcorn.

[anfalicious.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we get burned with BERNING for 150 days or something. Probably poked with something pointy too.

[tniassaint.livejournal.com]

Oh score! that means we will have time to add a bbq to the agenda... maybe mix up some margaritas and make a doomsday conga line so we can ride the dance train to hell...

Love the post mahnmut. Always a good way to start a rough day.

[kinvore.livejournal.com]

I so wanna bet anyone who thinks the world is gonna end that it won't, but it's funny how none will put their money where their mouth is. So much for faith.

[mahnmut.livejournal.com]

That's disappointing. I would've made some good money, duh.

[airiefairie.livejournal.com]

And how are they going to collect their money if they are right and the world ends? =)

[kinvore.livejournal.com]

I'll make a wire transfer from hell.